The Truth Hurts

As my husband and I filled out school applications for the kids last night, I found it sad that I didn't have anyone in my city to list as "Emergency Contact."  We've been here 15 months and I haven't even made friends in my city!  Actually, there is one and she is up the street, and although we aren't extremely close she is listed as a pickup contact since there truly is nobody else (Hmm, maybe I should tell her this?).  Don't worry, she's a fellow pilot's wife and for some reason we all trust each other.  It comes with the territory of being military and not having a choice.  And, truth be told, she is becoming a closer friend, even if we don't share the same faith.

Today God spoke to me not through his word, but through prayer.  I was getting a pedicure done and had some time to think...it was a great use of a Groupon deal!  Anyway, at first I started reading a book, but I knew that I haven't been spending enough time lately actually talking to God.  I've been doing the SOAP, saying my prayers, but I'm not always the greatest about just spending some "talk time" with him.  I've had some struggles lately and I really needed to talk to him about them.

So I told him.  I admitted that I don't ever play with my boys and yet it's the one thing I want to improve upon.  I admitted that I am always trying to get things done or playing around on the internet or getting pulled into social websites...artificial friendships and all.  And I admitted that I'm still frustrated over the fact that we've lived here for 15 months and I've yet to make a friend that I can call upon on a weekly basis.  A Christian friend.  It's not that I don't value my non-Christian friends (I really do!), it's that I need someone I can talk with who will give me Christian advice.  I need someone who can relate.  I need someone in my area.  I need to get over the fact that most of my "close" friends aren't anywhere close...or even in the same country.  I've wanted to get better about this for so long, and I'm frustrated that I can't seem to get past the "I want to spend time with my kids" to "I am spending time with my kids."  Or, "I want to have less Facebook friends and more real friends" to "I finally have some close-vicinity friends!"

And do you know what God said?  He said, "If you're needing wisdom on making friends, you need to let go of the distant ones and focus on the things I want you to do right now.  So the next time you're tempted to check your email or your Facebook, walk away and spend time with your kids.  Do this simple act of obedience, and my wisdom will come to you about the friendship.  Obey in one area, so I can give you wisdom in another. Even if they are completely unrelated.  It's the very thing you taught about last week."

Yikes.  Convicted.  So do you know what?  That's what I'm going to do.  Every time I'm tempted to "waste time" I'm going to spend time with my kids.  Shouldn't I be motivated to do that anyway?  Why don't I want to play with them?  But for whatever reason, this is another motivation: That in the process of obedience I will gain wisdom.

And who knows?  Maybe I will also gain a liking for playing 10 rounds of Battleship in a row.